Task 11

Task 11: More genuine, real encounters with people. Less sarcasm and mockery. Believe. Trust.

This quote I always find inspiring, I have no idea where its from, I have heard people tell me its a Nicholas Sparks original, or Kurt Vonnegut or Mary Schmich. No matter, the importance is that it is something I think I live by and I think needs to be tweaked a little bit.

"Don't be reckless with people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

Once again, this task is nothing I can accomplish in a week, and really, if it could be accomplished in a week it would not be a true task to begin with.

I don't trust people very easily. Even people who have given me no reason to distrust them. It takes an incredibly long period of time for me to trust others with myself and to give of myself freely. I am afraid of trusting others because I am afraid it will come back to bite me. There have been people who I have trusted with my heart and soul who have not been gentle. But in the grand scheme of things these people are actually few and far in between. I am currently surrounded by caring, and kind individuals who are constantly showing me that the world is good. People are good. I just need to open myself to people and beautiful things will happen. I believe this to be true because in the few instances when I let my guard down, magic happens. It might sound cheesy, and it might sound cliche, but instances of heartbreaking beauty and transcendence are ever present. I only keep them at bay by being guarded and in real life this translates to my attitude around those that I do not know very well. I am incredibly sarcastic and stand-offish. I imagine this is no source of comfort to people who otherwise have the potential to be amazing.

I am going to go out into the world and try to be nice. This is going to be hard for two reasons. One, if I can't make fun of everything what the fuck am I supposed to say? Two, I fear that I am incredibly boring without my mean jokes.

I am so looking forward to this. I'm smiling even now at the potential awkward prospects heading my way.