This was a sweaty experience at first. I am horrified of being alone in public spaces. I really hate parties, so much so that I get unbelievably anxious before going. I sometimes battle this (rather unhealthily) by getting extremely drunk, or being extremely mean. The level of success for both methods is mediocre. I avoid most social situations where there is even a chance that I would find myself alone. I only go to parties where I am certain I know 80% of the people going. I only go out with a group of people. I only eat with others or, if it must be alone than in my own home. I never, ever go out to a place where it is clear that it is just me. I don't really know what will happen if it is just me in these kinds of situations but I fear it just the same.
So, this being one of my most prevalent and detrimental fears, I decided to begin 'conquering', or at least facing it today. I went to a cafe (Equal Grounds) that I have always wanted to try out but just simply haven't gotten around to going. I recognize that a coffeehouse is probably one of the easiest things to encounter by myself but at the same time it still scares me. (I also don't want to be jumping ship on this project so early on.)
The experience was pretty uneventful. I went to the counter, was greeted by a friendly barista and proceeded to order my usual, "The darkest roast you have." I ended up ordering two more and convincing him of my strongly intact caffeine addiction. Besides a few raised eyebrows I managed to have a pretty dandy time. I imagine I will go back here at some point, perhaps even by myself.
Result Analysis:
I do not feel changed as a human. My level of fear is still pretty high. I remain unconvinced of my abilities.
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