Task 12: Homosexuality and Islam

This is not going to be a task I can just do, like say putting on a dress. I really think in order to make this successful and useful, I am going to need some time. But here is the situation as it stands: (I will speak specifically about my community simply because I have no experience with anything else.)Homosexuality is not permitted in any shape or fashion in Islam. It is a deviation from the norm. Here is a little sample of what Islam thinks of homosexuality:

There is at least one mention of lesbian behavior mentioned in the Hadith: "Sihaq (lesbian sexual activity) of women is zina (illegitimate sexual intercourse) among them."
There is a consensus among Islamic scholars that all humans are naturally heterosexual. Homosexuality is seen by scholars to be a sinful and perverted deviation from the norm. All Islamic schools of thought and jurisprudence consider gay acts unlawful. They differ in terms of penalty:
The Hanafite school (currently seen mainly in South and Eastern Asia) teaches that no physical punishment is warranted.
The Hanabalites, (widely followed in the Arab world) teach that severe punishment is warranted.
Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi of the ISNA said: "Homosexuality is a moral disorder. It is a moral disease, a sin and corruption... No person is born homosexual, just as if no one is born a thief, a liar or murderer. People acquire these evil habits due to a lack of proper guidance and education.""
"There are many reasons why it is forbidden in Islam. Homosexuality is dangerous for the health of the individuals and for the society. It is a main cause of one of the most harmful and fatal diseases. It is disgraceful for both men and women. It degrades a person. Islam teaches that men should be men and women should be women. Homosexuality deprives a man of his manhood and a woman of her womanhood. It is the most un-natural way of life. Homosexuality leads to the destruction of family life."
Allah Most High says: "Do you approach the males of humanity, leaving the wives that Allah has created for you? But you are a people who transgress" Koran (26:165-66)
(1) The Prophet (saws) said: (1) "Kill the one who sodomizes and the one who lets if be done to him." (Tirmidhi, a sahih (authentic) hadith)
(2) "May Allah curse him who does that Lot's people did." (Ibn Hibban, sahih (authentic))
(3) "Lesbianism by women is adultery between them." (Tabarani, sahih)"
If you were ever involved in sexual homosexual acts in the past, you should truly and sincerely repent to Allah, The Merciful, The Gracious, and pledge to Him never to get involved in any homosexual acts anymore. Please note that there is a difference to actually being involved in a homosexual act -which is a sin - from having sexual feelings that you try to control, that you don't express in public, which is not sinful if you try to control them. If medical or psychological counseling helps, then get it, but know that Allah is The Curer, and the Qur'an is your best companion. Give charity, pray, make dua', and Allah will not leave you alone. You have got to believe in the infinite amount of Mercy Allah provides to His servants, and you should also realize that He forgives, if He wishes, all types of sins, except the sin of disbelieving in Him.
What is sinful in homosexuality is the actual sexual act between the couple of a similar sex. If you transform your desires into a struggle and a challenge to overcome it and not physically commit it, then insha'Allah, you will get the reward for it.
Don't lose hope! Fear Allah (S.W.T), ask Him for help earnestly, never give up, and do something to get rid of even the idea of homosexuality. Try to avoid all of the circumstances that trigger your homosexual feelings: don't get alone with an attractive man/woman, always be in the company of others, don't get involved in deep / personal discussions with any person that you may think will trigger your homosexual feeling. Stay away from any other people who have similar feelings. Don't even think in such an idea of this subject; keep yourself busy in different useful thing, and stay away of anything that remind you of homosexuality. Keep a POSITIVE thinking in your mind and keep saying to yourself that you can do something about it. Don't ever say I can't. Remember with every step you are taking toward getting rid of this habit you are getting help and reward from Allah (S.W.T) and you are annoying the shaytan.
Also for many Homosexual Muslims, the concept of getting married is unappealing. Having this feeling should not prevent you from considering to get married in the future. You will discover that marriage is more than simply fulfilling your sexual needs... Your wife/husband will insha'Allah bring you peace, tranquility, joy, security, and many other feelings that every human being needs, irrelevant of their "sexual partners".

Now, this is only just a small, light, sampling of what people truly believe. I want to make this change. Yes, I realize this is a lofty and impossible sounding goal. But it truly will be impossible if no one even tries. What I want to do, is show the adolescents in my Islamic community that believing such things is a way of hating, or how hatred begins, and how we begin to marginalize those that are different from what we have been taught to believe is the 'norm'. I know Islam, which when defined means peace no less, does not teach this. I want to provide a forum where they can freely ask questions and understand themselves in ways I do not feel they currently do. I'm not sure how to do this yet. One, because this is extremely tenuous subject matter which in my experience,more often than not leads to tears. I do not want this. Two, I do not want to challenge anyone's faith. I want to respect beliefs. How do I do this?

Updates on Task 9: Wear a Dress

I wore the dress and it was good.

Updates on Task 9: Wear a Dress

After so much resistance and the hope that perhaps people would forget about this particular task, I have decided that even if people forget, I will remember. This afternoon I went shopping with my friend Nicole and we purchased what I would say is a dress that I can live with wearing. I came home and it got the Lee stamp of approval so, I'm guessing its probably good. (For those unfamiliar with the 'lee stamp of approval', I will elaborate: most of my outfits, especially those that include vests are examples of types of clothing that would not be approved under her guidelines, but outfits that flatter one's figure, are colorful, appropriately sized, and what she will label 'classy', and which I will label 'boring', do more often than not get the stamp of approval. For a more thorough list it is probably best to consult her directly.)

I plan on wearing it to graduation. I am trying to be nonchalant, "Oh yes, I don dresses everyday. In fact, I even wear them when I'm out to fetch the milk or throw the trash down the chute, or when I am baking pies to cool on the windowsill."

Also, apparently, I live an entirely different life in a dress, one which includes a trash chute, milk that is delivered to my door, and pies.

Can't wait. May 16 2010, I don't know if you are ready.

Streamlining

So, yes, I am shamefully going to admit, this project seems to have fallen to the wayside, landing somewhere in between my desire to read more interesting books and working out in a more regimented manner. Another way to say this would be: I simply have not done anything for a while. This does not mean that I have lost faith in this project or in what I am doing here. Far from. I have learned many things, some of which I am unable to share in this public way but which will I am sure, continue to shape me as I move through life. Some things have not been very positive, but even those things have set in motion events which have proven necessary for my own personal growth. I plan on continuing this blog for however long it seems appropriate. I have decided to streamline it a little bit more upon receiving some very nice suggestions. Instead of trying to accomplish a task a week, I am going to instead, design a series of tasks and set a time period to accomplish them in. I will re-catalog the tasks I have already had the pleasure of completing alongside the ameliorated version of this project.

On a slightly unrelated and facetious note, Overcoming the Terrifying abbreviated is OTT, which to me sounds like the word 'ought' which makes me think that these are the things I ought to be doing. I find that connection important.

Updates on Task 5

I am floored by what has happened and how this relationship has progressed. I am still standing dumbstruck at the luck I have found. The fact that 'Person Y' (which seems now to be too sterile of a term to use) has remained in my life and is fast becoming someone very dear to me is constant cause for wonder. I am amazed, AMAZED, that she did not take one look at me and run away. What she sees in me, I will not know. Recently, she looked at the entry concerning her and said it bothered her a little that she was 'just a project.' And so, I write this now to assure you dearest butterfly, that you were never just a project. And to assure you that my projects do not stem from anything other than myself. I have always been true to you. You very well may not read this. I sense that you don't. But perhaps, if you ever come across it, you will smile.

I will respect her privacy, and mine and say more than anything else she has flown into my life and I have become a girl enchanted. This is for you sunshine.

Updates on Task 8

I just had a very awful fight with my father. I hope our lines of communication are not broken. I can't fix them. I feel awful and I question myself whenever things like this happen with my parents. What if I am wrong in what I feel? I am tired of having to defend myself and my sexuality every single time I see my family. I wonder if I made a mistake telling them about me. What kind of freedom do I have in being truthful? Was there more freedom in maintaining the lie? I cannot go back, but after fights like tonight I feel defeated. There is no winning. I might have won a few battles but the war is going on even as I shout for peace. I wish I could make things different and better and I wish I was not such a disappointment. I wish I did not cause the hurt I see in my father's eyes. I wish my mom believed in me. I wish I could be what they want from me. I wish I could be what they need.

Despite this, I will not apologize for who I am and what I believe. I am not ashamed and never will be. I refuse.

Task 11

Task 11: More genuine, real encounters with people. Less sarcasm and mockery. Believe. Trust.

This quote I always find inspiring, I have no idea where its from, I have heard people tell me its a Nicholas Sparks original, or Kurt Vonnegut or Mary Schmich. No matter, the importance is that it is something I think I live by and I think needs to be tweaked a little bit.

"Don't be reckless with people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

Once again, this task is nothing I can accomplish in a week, and really, if it could be accomplished in a week it would not be a true task to begin with.

I don't trust people very easily. Even people who have given me no reason to distrust them. It takes an incredibly long period of time for me to trust others with myself and to give of myself freely. I am afraid of trusting others because I am afraid it will come back to bite me. There have been people who I have trusted with my heart and soul who have not been gentle. But in the grand scheme of things these people are actually few and far in between. I am currently surrounded by caring, and kind individuals who are constantly showing me that the world is good. People are good. I just need to open myself to people and beautiful things will happen. I believe this to be true because in the few instances when I let my guard down, magic happens. It might sound cheesy, and it might sound cliche, but instances of heartbreaking beauty and transcendence are ever present. I only keep them at bay by being guarded and in real life this translates to my attitude around those that I do not know very well. I am incredibly sarcastic and stand-offish. I imagine this is no source of comfort to people who otherwise have the potential to be amazing.

I am going to go out into the world and try to be nice. This is going to be hard for two reasons. One, if I can't make fun of everything what the fuck am I supposed to say? Two, I fear that I am incredibly boring without my mean jokes.

I am so looking forward to this. I'm smiling even now at the potential awkward prospects heading my way.